آزمون سطح نگارش زبان انگلیسی از اعضای سایت

[DarKfish]

سلام به دوستان عزیزم،
دیگه تنبلی بسه! وقته درسه!:134:
میخوام در این تاپیک یک موضوع ساده رو عنوان کنم و دوستان در حدی که توانشو دارند (اصلا قرار نیست کسی با کسی مقایسه بشه) در مورد موضوع یک پاراگراف بنویسند.
سعی میکنم تا جایی که بشه ایرادها و پیشنهادات رو به دوستان بدم،
نوشتن متن انگلیسی یعنی تسلط به لغت، گرامر و ذهن آماده،
خواهشا خجالت نکشید و برای افرادی که توی نوشتن پیشرفت کنند، امتیاز خواهم داد.
در آینده آزمون های بیشتر و نمودار پیشرفت هر کس گزارش داده میشه.
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اولین سوال:
Some people believe that the best way to succeed is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. Other people think that hard work is not as important as good luck. Which point of view do you think is true and why?
use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
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برای مثال جواب من:
In my opinion trying to reach a goal is the main triumph not the goal itself.
If you made capricious jumps from one goal to another ,because you have a bad luck or you don't have enough qualification to handle problems, you would feel embarrassed
making an effort to achieve a goal can motivate you to understand and gain new experiments.

[ehsantaghavi2007]

hi
sorry because I answer this Q first
anyone who has experiece can answer this question but no one can prove it because they just say their behavier
you know it is not a scientific Q therefore no one can support idea very strong
but my idea is that both have goal and good luck is too important.we have 2 goal:the short-term goal and the long term-goal and usually the short term is in a way of long term
have a great plan can help to achieve dream and goal.it is necessary to work hard.if you take it easy you are going to lose in this big game but if you have bad experience like have a problem or have not enough benefit never never embarrassed.losing and doubt are steps of victory.i can not say everything is goal and work because we believe that good luck can change everything like people who do not have anything and have low IQ but just for a good luck know they have everything you think.
.at last i want to say believe it or not self-confidence is the most important thing in life



دوستان و اساتید ببخشید میدونم خیلی افتضاحه و خیلی غلط داره چون آخرین مدرک های زبان من مال 3 سال پیشه و بعد هم متاسفانه ادامه ندادم
موفق باشید

[DarKfish]

First of all, I appreciate the time you took to write this text.
Neither being shy nor having terrible mistakes justify not participating in this session.
I am pleased that you have enough enthusiasm and courage to write an English text by yourself. Unfortunately you have some mistakes in your text; therefore please let me correct them.
sorry because I answer (You are answering a question. Or you answered it. Because you are willing to answer it now and it is temporary, you have to use present continuous.) this Q first :
anyone who has experience (it is better to add an specific experience, not in general. E.g. experience of modern life) can answer this question but no one can prove it because they just say their behavior(insights or suggestions or their personal ideas)
you know it is not a scientific Q therefore no one can support (their) idea very strong(strongly, try to use adverbs, in this case, predominantly is more meaningful)
but my idea is that both have(having) goal and good luck is too(so- too has negative sense) important. we have 2 goal(s):the short-term goal and the long term-goal and usually the short term is in a way of long term
have(ing) a great plan can help(us) to achieve dream and goal.it is necessary to work hard.if you take it easy you are going(will is better, when you use “going to”, you mean it has been decided, for prediction it is better to use will, however “going to” is not wrong) to lose in this big game but if you (already) have had experience like have(having) a problem or have(ing) not enough benefit never never embarrassed (? I can’t get it. Could you write in Pesian?).losing and doubt are steps of victory.i can not say everything is goal and work because we believe that good luck can change everything like people who do not have anything and have low IQ but just for a good luck know(?) they have everything you think
.at last i want to say (believe it or not) self-confidence is the most important thing in life
---
Thank you ehsan,
it is better to write short sentence in order to prevent reader from being baffled.

[علی بختیاری]

hi

if i understand true you mean :

i think for reach a big goal we should work hard but chance is a part of uor live too.

for example i have a fish room and work hard but in the night break a tank and die my fish. i think its may bad chance.



فک کنم خیلی گند زدم تو این جمله هایی که سرهم کردم ولی خداییش هرچی بلد بودمو نوشتم و از ذهنم کمک گرفتم و به سراغ دیکشنری عزیز نرفتم.از پیش دانشگاهی دیگه دور زبانو خط کشیدم.

[DarKfish]

hi

if i understand true you mean :

i think for reach a big goal we should work hard but chance is a part of uor live too.

for example i have a fish room and work hard but in the night break a tank and die my fish. i think its may bad chance.



فک کنم خیلی گند زدم تو این جمله هایی که سرهم کردم ولی خداییش هرچی بلد بودمو نوشتم و از ذهنم کمک گرفتم و به سراغ دیکشنری عزیز نرفتم.از پیش دانشگاهی دیگه دور زبانو خط کشیدم.

اول از همه خوشحالم که جسارت دوستان رو میبینم، باور کنید من فقط در طول زندگی دو ترم زبان رفتم!. از وقتی تونستم یه چیزایی یاد بگیرم که خودم کار رو شروع کردم. از نوشتن، حرف زدن، ترجمه کردن. تا وقتی کسی باور نکنه که زبانش مشکل داره و باید خودش تقویتش کنه، هیچ وقت زبان خارجی رو به معنای واقعی یاد نمیگیره.
پس عزیزان، خواهشا همه شرکت کنند تا عنوان دیگری انتخاب بشه (فکر کنم هر هفته یک عنوان خوب باشه). خیلی ها ممکنه مسلط به صحبت کردن یا خوندن باشن ولی در نگارش ضعیف. پس کسی فکر نکنه که الان بد بنویسه یعنی زبانش به کلی بد هست.
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Dear Ali,
Since your sentence is short, I will revise and reform all of your text. So, you can easily compare yours to mine in order to know which parts have been written wrongly or could have been improved.
If I realize (or understand) what you really mean, I will express my idea in the following (way):
I think for reaching a big goal, we should work hard, however chance can be considered as another part that should be taken into account in our life.
For example, I have a fish room and I am a diligent man, but suddenly one of my tanks was broken in one night; as a result my poor fish died. I think it was my misfortune (or bad luck).

[elias.kh]

Hi
Mr.darkfish, I think it's the best program for English learner in Emruzi sait
If some one succeed he shoud work hard and don't give up
I think only way to will be succeed is try hard
Luck is important but hard work is more important
Have good time

[DarKfish]

Hi
Mr.darkfish, I think it's the best program for English learner in Emruzi sait
If some one succeed he shoud work hard and don't give up
I think only way to will be succeed is try hard
Luck is important but hard work is more important
Have good time





Dear Elias,
Thank you for your kind words,
I am again, reforming your text:
If some one wants to succeed in their goals, they should work hard and not give up.
I think the only way to be successful (or to succeed) is working hard (try means as struggling here .
Although luck can be regarded as an important thing, working hard is more important than that.
Have a good time,

[DarKfish]

خب ممنون از دوستانی که جسارت به خرج دادند و در این قسمت شرکت کردند، امیدوارم با تداوم این بخش، هم افرادی که شرکت نمیکنند، وارد بشن، و هم دوستان، اشتباهات خودشونو در متن های بعدی اصلاح کنند،
سوال دوم:
In USA, students have two choices to attend a school. Some students prefer to attend a school that provides education for women only or men only, other students prefer to attend a coeducational school for both women and men. Which environment do you think is better an why? Which advantages and disadvantages does the separation of men and women in Iranian schools have?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

جواب من:

Like many things in our life, the coeducational has some pitfalls and benefits. Before describing them, we need to answer a question: Are girls the same as boys? Since there are many variation both physically and mentally between them, would a school with constant system benefit two of them?
In my opinion if we didn't want to separate them, we had to create a separate schedule..
Nevertheless,there are some advantages of the coeducational school: it develops confidence and boldness of students and prepares them for their future personal life.
However the most obvious pitfall of coeducation is that interaction between girls and boys during the first ages of adolescence when they do not possess the essential and adequate self-control can cause many problems. They probably prefer to hang out with their opposite sex instead of studying...

[علی بختیاری]

hi dear amir hossein

i think a school provide men and women is better.because betwen men and women exis a copetition and it can improve education but we have to educate that calture to our student. unfortunately in our classes specific in callege we dont have that calture because we are apart for 12 yeare.

[mohammad sadegh]

hi mr souri
.it is a law
.i think we should Obey of it
.and this is better
.Especially in periods of down
.because i see children who speak about title of Irrelevant in kindergarten
.but in univercity for Creation Competition between students should male and female with another
.so result to Progress

good luck

[DarKfish]

Hi Ali,
Well I'm detecting that you have used new words and structures. Good work! However, Please let me revise it:
I think a school that provides education for both women and men is better. Because coeducation can create an opportunity for competition between women and men and it can improve the education system. But firstly we have to adherd an appropirate code of ethics. Unfortuanly in our university, we do not follow the codes and we have not been experienced this situation, because we have been keeping apart for almost 12 years.

علی جان، هرجا سوالی بود هم بپرس، نمیخوام یه طرفه باشه.
متن بهتر نشد؟
در مورد فرهنگ، culture بیشتر به معنای واقعی فرهنگ من همیشه دیدم، یعنی رسم و رسوم ها، دین و.. یک گروه. بیشتر فرهنگی که مد نظر شماست به اخلاق و اصول میخوره. code of ethics یا خیلی جاها میگن code یعنی یک سری اصول و اخلاق.

--------- ادغام پست ------------


Hello Mr.Mohammad sadegh

It is better to say" it is a rule" or a compromised rule. law seems to be strange for me.
What did you mean to say this "Especially in periods of down". if your meaning was
"دوره های پایین تر",
in English we have lower grades (or primary grades)
Because I have seen some children speak about irrelevant topics in kindergarten

منظور آخرین خط هم نفهیدم؟
دوستان اصلا دقتی به افعال ندارید، زبان انگلیسی خیلی وسیع تر از فارسی هست. زمان افعال زیاد هست و باید ار هرکدوم به نحو احسن استفاده کنیم.
بیشتر دوستان فعل ها رو به صورت کاملا ساده میارن که اصلا بی معنی هست در خیلی از قسمت ها
منتظر دوستان دیگر هم هستم
.

[DarKfish]

خب، با کمی تاخیر سوال سوم رو از دوستان میپرسم،
Question number 3
Which city in the world would you like to visit?
Use specific reasons to support your opinion

جواب من:
I would love to visit Paris. In my view, Paris has two particular and exclusive attributes.
Firstly, It has many museums that attract millions of visitors each year.
They offer thousand of the famous original works from eminent artist such as Da Vinci
I also like the music with festivals and street performers that constantly are populating the city street

[elias.kh]

hi
I like italian city
name of this city is Venezia
I like this city because it dont have any street , dont have any car bike and ....it is intersting for me
I have ever seen this city in my life but I promise to you I am going to this city in my life
thanks

[DarKfish]

hi
I like italian city
name of this city is Venezia
I like this city because it dont have any street , dont have any car bike and ....it is intersting for me
I have ever seen this city in my life but I promise to you I am going to this city in my life
thanks


I like Italian cities
ببین، هیچ وقت اسم countable به صورت خالی نمیاد. یا باید a/an پشتش باشه یا به صورت جمع. اگر به صورت کلی هست مثل این متن. باید حمع بگیره.
ولی بهتر بود اینطوری میگفتی:
I like Italian cities such as Venezia
or
I like a city in Italy named Venezia
...
It doesn't have any street
doesn't have any car...
I have never seen (or been to)

I promise you I will go to the city
am going یعنی الان ارنج کردی و بلیط کردی گرفتی داری میری. ولی will یکم حالت predict داره. اگر بخوای یکم illusion تر باشه، would هم خوبه.

اینو بخون تا متنهای بهتر رو بتونی بشناسی:
http://foodnouveau.com/2012/06/destinations/europe/italy/10-reasons-why-you-should-go-to-venice/

[علی بختیاری]

hi dear amir hoseein / hi teacher


;)( i like visit thailand cities such as bangkok ( i learn its now

because here are the fishes land and i love them.

i love koi and in their hotel has koi pool

(منظورم از نزدیکه there are some breeding fish farm and i can see its from near and learn

i decide set up a guppy breedind room in future and i need some experience so i can earn some data and experience here. about this

thanks

[somijooon]

hello Mr souri
it's years that I have not practiced english and I've forgotten the rules and many words...I'm sorry for my mistakes
I really like to visit those countries which are rich in culture and tradition such as egypt and china...but we have many places in iran which I like to see them first..I've visited Isfihan for many times and also Kashan..but I'm ready to go there for other thousand times..
thanks for this good job

[DarKfish]

Hi Ali,
First of all, I am not your teacher, I am just your friend.
OK so you would like to visit Thailand's city. That's a good choice. As far as I understood your purposes of visiting Thailand are the fishery lakes, existing koi in the cities' hotel and presence of some breeding fish farms.
It is better to say: There are some breeding fish farm and I am eager to look at them closely.
You are setting up (When you use present simple it means you are deciding and arranging something to do.) a guppy breeding room. You need to acquire some experiences and introduction before establishing the room, so that you can gain experience from there..
Thank you so much,

---
Hello Ms. Somaye
I am so delighted with your note. your sentences have good structure and grammar. You can easily improve your English skill and get some certificates. However there are some minor mistakes so let me alter it: I have not practiced English for years or, It has been many years since I practiced English.
We have many placed in Iran where I ... you have visited Isfahan for several times ..
Good sentences,
Try to participate in this part, I will apply the essential amendments regarding to your note. font give up the English learning.

[H.rezaei]

hi mr soury
I did not do much in English.
I love to travel too.For trips outside the country,I choose Paris, Germany and Italy.but I have not seen all cities of iran,that prefer they see.
I'll translate more of the mathematical text.
I must confess that Conversation is really hard for me.

[DarKfish]

Ms. Rezaie,
Thank you for your participation. Is Mr. Rezaie nejad your relative?
So, You do not know much in English; however you can easily improve it.
You'd love to travel: taking trips/traveling abroad. You would choose Paris. However Germany and Italy are not city. You also prefer to visit some cities of Iran where you have not seen yet.
You translate many mathematical texts
---
For improving the Speaking skill you can ask one of your friends to talk.
Choose a specific topic and talk as much as you can. Don't worry about expressing wrong ideas and grammar.
You can also listen to English music and subsequently to sing the song in home

[H.rezaei]

Ms. Rezaie,
Thank you for your participation. Is Mr. Rezaie nejad your relative?
So, You do not know much in English; however you can easily improve it.
You'd love to travel: taking trips/traveling abroad. You would choose Paris. However Germany and Italy are not city. You also prefer to visit some cities of Iran where you have not seen yet.
You translate many mathematical texts
---
For improving the Speaking skill you can ask one of your friends to talk.
Choose a specific topic and talk as much as you can. Don't worry about expressing wrong ideas and grammar.
You can also listen to English music and subsequently to sing the song in home




Thank you for your Proposal .
yes , hi's my brother.
I hope I can use your help in advance.

[DarKfish]

سلام، سوال جدید:
It has been said,"Not everything that is learned is contained in books"
Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? why
?
این بار میخوام به سبک TOEFL جواب بدم و شده یک هفته وقت بذارید و این سبک رو امتحان کنید،
در پاراگراف اول یک توضیح کلی میدم، یعنی اینکه کلا موضوع چرا مهمه و نظر های مختلف چیه، چرا کلا این سوال مهمه و یه دید کلی:
No one to the best of my knowledge can ignore effects of experience in our lives. Knowledge gained from experience is one of the greatest assets for each individual. Although books can enrich our knowledge in many aspects, they have to be verified and implemented. Each individual is able to argue with some facts written in books; however no one opposes their own experience. Some experiences have been gained through hard working and even disasters. From my point of view, knowledge gained from experiences has three main advantages when compared to knowledge achieved from books:
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یکی از template ها اینه مثلا که میتونید استفاده کنید:

When it comes to the issue of ... some people believe it is better to .... while others maintain the opposite view. As far as I am concerned, the latter opinion carries more weight. I will present some of the most prominent facts to support my viewpoint
----
پاراگراف بعدی اولین دلیل و ساپورتشو میگم:
First, books and many scientific papers are biased. Since each person has exclusive personality and characteristics, some facts and instructions are not feasible to be used in their lives. Sometimes books claim something can benefit you however for a specific person, the circumstances are adverse. For an instance, a health book suggests you drink more coffee in order to overcome with stress. On the other hand you will tend to be more stressed and even your body shows some allergic reactions when you drink it.
---
پاراگراف بعدی دومین دلیلم رو شرح میدم:
Furthermore, experience has been gained through trial and error in some tough situations. You can conveniently afford to buy a book about company management. Would be adequate to manage a big company? Of course not, experiences have been achieved in severe conditions. Sometimes millions dollars has been lost in order to comprehend and ponder a fact. That’s why many people consider experience as the most valuable asset.
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و بعدی هم آخرین دلیل:
Last but not the least, knowledge gained from books will be easily forgotten, since many of its facts cannot be utilized. Conversely experience will be remembered for always. Consequently you will recall it that keeps you from making some mistakes again. In addition, some experiences told by your close friends and parent will affect you as though you experienced it by yourself. Triumphs and disasters enrich your life experience in order to improve your career, your relationship with others and even help you be someone who you are willing to be.
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پاراگراف آخر هم جمع بندی:
In conclusion, regarding what mentioned above. The knowledge achieved by experience helps us not only improve our career prospects, but also improve our relationship with others and prevent people around us from making mistakes that we have already experienced them.
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مهم نیست به اندازه من بنویسید یا بیشتر، حتی یک خطم شد هر دلیل اشکالی نداره و فقط میخوام structure نوشتن یک متن رو خصوصا به صورت آکادمیک پیاده سازی کنید.